


The Fairies of Hyrule: Jennacide

by Dreigonix



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:41:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22163491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreigonix/pseuds/Dreigonix
Summary: When a mysterious girl ensnares Link's heart in a powerful enchantment and begins twisting Hyrule to her will, the fate of the land rests in the hands of Navi and her rough-and-rowdy best friend Lilly.Based on one of the best worst fanfics of all time. Partially inspired by Kassie Boyd and Hushicho's Bad Fanfiction Theater series. And if the one formerly known as Link's Queen ever sees this? You're awesome.
Relationships: Link/Original Female Character(s), Navi/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	The Fairies of Hyrule: Jennacide

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Inner Life](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/548800) by Link's Queen. 



“Ah, fuck me _straight_ off the edge of Death Mountain, what do you want?”

“The Great Deku Tree has summoned us! We can’t keep him waiting!”

“...Fuuuuck, Navi, lemme finish my goddamn beer.” The pink fairy lifted her tiny tankard to her lips and chugged her drink, foam spilling down her little leather vest. “What would he need us for?” Her voice was rough, like she had a Razor Sword caught in her throat.

“Apparently there’s someone important here! And the Deku Tree is assigning us as their Guardian Fairies!” exclaimed the blue fairy. “He wouldn’t tell me who it is, though…”

“Eh, let’s go see.”

They fluttered out of the secret hollow that was home to the fairy-sized bar (Navi had been quite surprised when she found out the Deku Tree had something like that in him) and into the Deku Tree’s meadow, where–

“Link! Oh my goddesses, it’s been so long…!” Navi squealed, tears of joy sparkling from her eyes as she flew to him. There was no mistaking the young man in green. “I thought I’d never see you again!”

“Navi, my old friend, I have missed you too. How have you been since last we saw each other?”

Navi was suddenly shocked out of her happiness. Usually she would like nothing better than to hear her best friend’s voice greeting her… but Link’s voice was dull and monotone, almost lifeless.

“Oh, uh, great…” It was then Navi noticed who stood next to Link– a beautiful blonde woman with brown eyes, wearing a wedding ring that matched Link’s. She turned to look at Navi, and Navi suddenly felt her stomach flip when she met her gaze- she seemed to stare right through the little fairy, and her presence felt like the air itself was congealing around her. Navi tried to gather herself and say something complimentary.

“Um… I see you’ve taken a wife! She is… truly beautiful. You two will, uh, make beautiful children together!” She stopped, baffled and rather disturbed at the words that had spilled from her own mouth. “My name is Navi, and this is Lilly!” She indicated the pink fairy.

“Hey. We’re gonna be your Guardian Fairies from now on,” said Lilly.

“I am Jenna. Lilly, I think we are going to be good friends,” said the woman with an upsettingly friendly voice, staring intently at the fairies as if nobody had ever seen one before.

“Thou art courageous and thou art spiritual will be protected if the Desert Man should ever return. Then your Guardian Fairies will help protect ye,” said the Deku Tree. “When thou hast thy first born, return to see me.”

Lilly and Navi looked at each other as if to say _“What the hell did this guy just say?”_ as Link and Jenna kissed and began heading down the path back to the Kokiri village. The fairies hung back a bit so they could talk in secret, at which point Lilly flew into a rage.

“…Okay, what the _fuck_ happened to the Deku Tree? And who’s that creepy bitch hanging off your friend?” she hissed. “Did you _see_ the way she looked at me? Looked like she was gonna fucking _eat_ me.”

“I felt magic from her… And Link… it was like he was a different person!” Navi added, tightly grabbing Lilly’s arm for comfort. 

“Hey, no clinging.” Lilly shook Navi’s hand off. “But you’re right, that’s some creepy shit. Almost like he’s been cursed…”

They reached the village soon, and all the Kokiri gathered around Link and Jenna, asking them about the fairies, until Mido stepped up.

“How come she gets a fairy? She’s not even a Kokiri! What makes her so special?”

Saria stepped out of the crowd and walked up to Mido, a stern look on her face.

“Link is the Hero of Time. He is special and so is his wife.” She spoke with the same dull air Link had. “As the Sage of the Forest I remember what Gannon said as we sealed him the Sacred Realm. He cursed that he would one day get revenge on Link or his decedents.”

Navi looked at Lilly. “Why is Saria speaking such broken Hylian?”

“Fuck if I know. The hell is ‘decedents?’ And didn’t you tell me the Sages sealed Ganon in the Evil Realm? Not the Sacred Realm.”

Navi nodded. 

Eventually Mido backed off. “Well, she still doesn't deserve it. Grumble grumble…”

Saria bid the couple farewell as they left. Navi grew a bit concerned when she noticed where they were headed.

“Why are we going into the Lost Woods?” she asked Lilly. “I know Link can get through, but…”

“That bitch is boned if she steps in there. Literally; she’ll go nuts and turn into a Stalfos in no time flat, and that’s if the Mad Scrubs and Skulltulas don’t get her first.”

The fairies followed them through the tree tunnel that led into the accursed forest. Link seemed to know the way as well as anyone, and Jenna clung to him the entire way. Soon enough, they reached the end– and what they saw made the fairies’ jaws drop in horror.

“What… the actual… _fuck._ ”

The Sacred Forest Meadow had been completely leveled and cleared. A huge, opulent house with arched stained-glass windows now stood before them, and behind it, where the maze leading up to the Forest Temple once was, there was now a flat expanse of farmland stretching all the way to the temple entrance. Link and Jenna went inside to admire their house, while the realization hit the fairies like a rolling Goron. Everyone’s strange behavior, Jenna’s magical presence… it all made sense.

“She fucking _desecrated the Forest Temple._ ”

“How could she have done this?! The Deku Tree and his magic should have stopped her… unless she cursed him too…!”

“I swear to the Goddesses, next time I see that slime I’m gonna kick her teeth _so_ far down her goddamn throat she’ll be shitting them for _weeks!_ ” growled the pink fairy.

“Lilly, we’re just fairies; we can’t possibly stop her on our own!”

“The fuck are we supposed to do, then?!”

“I don’t know!” Tears of anger and despair ran down Navi’s face as she sank down onto a patch of grass. “Link was always the one who would… do everything that was needed. He was always there. And now he’s gone…”

Lilly’s expression softened a bit. She flew down to Navi and put an arm around the blue fairy.

“…Listen, Navi… I know how much Link means to you. Whatever spell this… _Jenna_ has him under, it hasn’t gotten us. And I’m damn sure we can find a way to break it.” Lilly squeezed Navi and pulled her into a hug, and her face lightened a bit.

“Lilly? No clinging.”

Lilly grinned. “You adorable little blue bastard… This is why we’re friends.”

“Wanna go for a drink after this? There’s a tavern in Castle Town you might like.”

* * *

_Two months ago…_

A V-shaped streak of white foam slashed through the surface of the river as the Zora girl shot through the water like an arrow. With a mighty kick of her flippers, she soared out of the water, flipped over in midair, and landed on the drawbridge of Castle Town amidst sparkling rainbow spray.

“Make way… the Princess has arrived!” she announced.

What could she say? Ruto had always loved showing off.

It was at least a day’s walk along the river between Hyrule Castle and Zora Domain, but the legendary swimming speed of the Zoras made such a journey trivial. Fortunately, too, as the King had personally invited everyone in Hyrule to the wedding of Link and a merchant girl named Jenna. Ruto remembered back when she and Link were kids and she had proposed to him with the Zora Sapphire– they had enjoyed each other’s company in many ways since then, but Ruto had expected for a while that Link would eventually marry Zelda. This Jenna was a new name to her, though– was she another noble she wasn’t aware of? She figured she had to find out what was going on.

The castle courtyard was decorated with flowers and banners, and throngs of people were packed into it, crowding around the castle if they couldn’t fit– Hylians, Gorons, Zoras, Gerudo, even little Deku Scrubs from the forest. She took her seat in the front row with the rest of the Sages.

“Hey Darunia,” she asked, “how have the repairs to Goron City been going?” She had been meaning to check with her friend about this since she heard about the incident with Volvagia.

Darunia turned to look at her. Somehow, his amethyst eyes lacked their usual boisterous sparkle. “It’s been going well. Have you seen Link’s wife? She is so beautiful.”

“Uhh… Darunia? Bro? Are you okay?” Ruto waved her hand in front of his face. She didn’t have much time to question things, as the music began to play. Everyone made way as Link walked down the aisle, accompanied by… a woman in a garish wedding dress plastered in gold, jewels, and Triforce symbols. Ruto’s head spun as she looked at this Jenna woman. _That is the most hideous outfit I’ve ever…_ no, wait. It wasn’t hideous, she thought as she watched the two exchange their vows and put on their rings. It was beautiful, too beautiful for her fishy mind to comprehend, and so was the woman wearing it, the epitome of Hylian beauty, enough that everyone in the crowd stared blankly at her, beautiful enough to rival the Goddesses…

 _No!_ Ruto forced her eyes closed. Her head throbbed as if it were being crushed as she fought the magical aura creeping into her mind. She had to get out of here… she tore her eyes away from Jenna as she looked for an escape… There! While everyone else was focused on Jenna, Ruto jumped out of her seat and dove headfirst into one of the fountains bordering the courtyard, summoning her own magic power and vanishing into a whirlpool.

She emerged at Lake Hylia, her thoughts becoming more clear as the water swirled gently around her. This Jenna had the power to force everyone in Hyrule under her will. She had to make a plan to stop her– but even as a Sage, she couldn’t do it alone. She had to find _someone_ who had escaped Jenna’s control… but who?

* * *

“..An’ then I went up to the Skulltula and I said, you wanna mess with _me?_ Tryin’ to drop down all scary and spidery and shit? And then guess what, Navi? I kicked him right in the goddamn cephalothorax!” announced Lilly, swinging a mug around.

“Whoaaaa, tha’s awesome! Screw Skulltulas, am I right?” said the blue fairy, lying across Lilly’s lap completely naked.

“Oh yeah. All with the fuckin’ legs and shit, tryin’ to crawl all over you…”

“I want _you_ to crawl all over me, Lilly.”

“Hell fucking yes. Let’s do this!” Lilly scooped up Navi in her arms and carried her off to the bathroom to forget for just a while longer that the fate of Hyrule rested in their sparkly little hands.


End file.
